i got this necklace about 5 years ago. well, actually, i got this particular one 3 years ago, because the original was stolen and then destroyed. but you see what i`m sayin. this thing has, sorta, been with me fer a while now. i have a couple friends in c`ville virginia and they have tables set up on the downtown mall there. that`s where i got it.

a little old lady in new hampshire makes solid silver pieces, she made this one, all by her own molds. she melts and pours everything. (this is goin by what they`d told me. they`re reliable and professional as hell, so i believe it.) she also doesn`t like to make duplicates. so when the first got gone, it took me several months to convince her to make a second. it cost me though. the first ran me $90. the one in the picture ran me $200. but it was worth. i felt, and feel naked without it.

a close friend of mine in crozet virginia had given me a solid silver rope that was about as big around as my pinky and was around 65 years old, just a few months after i`d bought the first one of these. together they were heavy as hell, but i wore em both everyday. swore i`d never not wear em.

but...

about a year and a half ago, i was waitin in the car whilst a friend of mine was scorin from the dope man, and got the idea that i might get some goodies fer it. (i decided between the two, and kept the one you see.) i ended up getting a handful of pills for it. i felt like shit fer tradin it off no sooner than i`d done it, but it was done. the old guy i traded it to is mountains to the fuckin bone, too. i fear goin back up there around those crazy fuckin necks to attempt getting it back. i know as greedy as they are, i could buy it back fer $50 er so. but it still requires going up there. (these are pullin-guns-on-folks-they`re-not-sure-about-rednecks.) but i feel like hell that i don`t have it.

in june, my friend that gave it to me wants me to come out and stay fer a few weeks. i hate to ponder what he`ll think when he see`s that i don`t have it, but still have this one. i screwed those folks over more than alot when i lived there. i`d hate to do it again with some silly addict shit like this. that thing meant alot to him, and fer him to give it away, meant alot to me.

i may take this trip when i get my pell check, and i may not. but i`m thinkin this needs to be done. not so much fer his feelings about the matter`s sake, but fer my own peice of mind.


alive awake and aware